Betrothal of Mary and Joseph

St. Epiphanius describes St. Joseph, not only as great among men and faithful in all his ways, but as reflecting the beauty of his interior holiness in his countenance and exterior. This striking sanctity, revealed in his person, might alone have served to give a sufficient explanation of the preference awarded him over all the competitors. Albert the Great, indeed, is of opinion that the Synagogue judged that it contributed to the glory of the most holy Virgin by choosing Joseph for her spouse, for that his virtue was so consummate and admirable that he might have conferred honor on the holiest alliance ever contracted, or to be contracted. Could there be a greater panegyric of our saint, could his rare qualities have received a higher encomium, than in the fact that the priests of the Temple and the doctors of the Law, in a body, after applying themselves with mature deliberation to make their election, as St. Gregory Nazianzen tells us they did, should have turned their eyes to Joseph, albeit a poor man, because the wealth of his virtues and the treasure of his merits raised him to an equality with the greatest and noblest man upon earth? Yes, one higher testimony he might have, and we have every reason to believe that it was awarded to him—the testimony of God Himself. There is a general agreement among the Fathers and Doctors of the Church that Joseph was pointed out as the spouse of Mary by a marvelous sign from Heaven. St. Epiphanius, to whom allusion has just been made, says that he was chosen by lot. Now, the lot, as used on such occasions, and accompanied by prayer, was considered by the Jews as equivalent to a Divine pronouncement; as we see, for instance, in the choice of an Apostle to fill the place of Judas.¹ St. Gregory Nazianzen also speaks of the priests having selected Joseph as husband and guardian for Mary by lot, over which the Holy Ghost presided. In like manner, the aged Patriarch of Constantinople, St. Germanus, says that by a sign from God, and by the counsel of the priests, the lot was cast concerning the Virgin; and the great Chancellor of Paris and devout client of Mary, Gerson, declared, before all the Fathers assembled in council at Constance, that Joseph took a wife moved thereto by the Holy Spirit. All speak alike upon this point; but none of them explain in what manner the lot was cast, or in what mode the Holy Spirit manifested His decision. A very ancient tradition, however, supported by some Fathers and by many sacred writers, and resting also on popular belief, informs us that the high-priest, divinely inspired, renewed the proof to which Moses had recourse when it was question of the high-priesthood of Aaron; God saying to him: “Whomsoever of these I shall choose, his rod shall blossom”.² All the unmarried men of the race of David, and among them Joseph, being summoned to appear, the high-priest³ bade each of them bring a rod with his name inscribed upon it, and whosesoever rod should be found the next day to have blossomed, he it was who should be the spouse of Mary. So it was done; and on the morrow, while the rods of all the rest had remained dry and unfruitful, that of Joseph had budded and blossomed, and borne leaves and beautiful flowers. At the same time, a white dove was seen to descend and light upon it. The aspirants were all filled with grief and disappointment, and one of them in particular, it is said, a noble youth, possessing a rich patrimony, seeing his hopes deluded, broke his rod,⁴ and, refusing to give his affection to any one but Mary, retired to a grotto on Mount Carmel, where, among the disciples of Elias, he arrived at great sanctity, and built a chapel in honor of the most holy Virgin.

It is true that critics are not wanting who reject these traditions altogether, gathered, as they allow, from very ancient legendary writings, but writings which are apocryphal, that is, unauthentic and doubtful. But is this sweeping condemnation of all that is found contained in such writings reasonable? Hardly so. We have here to deal with a pious tradition, not gathered merely from these apocryphal sources, but handed down among the faithful. It has been alluded to by saints and doctors, and adopted by devout and diligent historians of St. Joseph in later times. Moreover, from the earliest ages of the Church it has been depicted on tablets and sculptured in marble. Joseph, therefore, has every right not to see himself despoiled of his flowering rod, the sign and testimony of the miraculous choice made of him as the spouse of Mary. Many, indeed, have seen therein the literal fulfillment in symbol of that prophecy of Isaias: “And there shall come forth a rod out of the root of Jesse, and a flower shall rise up out of his root”.⁵ Was it difficult for God to cause a dry stick to blossom, and did not the importance of the choice seem to call for a supernatural sign, that all might acknowledge the Divine will in this election? And because this incident is related in some apocryphal books, which contain other matter doubtful or undeserving of credit, its presence there ought not to suffice to invalidate its claim on our acceptance. If these books offer no guarantee of the truth of any particular affirmation contained in them, neither, on the other hand, is everything they relate to be necessarily condemned as false.

What were the feelings of the humble Joseph when he found himself divinely singled out in preference to all these youths of far higher worldly pretensions, and for an honor of which he believed himself unworthy, it would not be easy to realize. We must be humble like him to conceive how abashed and confounded he stood before the assembly. Yet for one thing, we may be sure, he returned fervent thanks to God in his heart; he knew that, if called to embrace the married state, in espousing Mary his promise of keeping his virginity was safe. We have the authority of a great saint for believing this, that of St. Bridget, to whom our Lady said: “Regard it as most certain that Joseph, before being espoused to me, knew by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that I had made a vow of virginity”.⁶ St. Thomas, also, inquiring how it was that Mary consented to be espoused to Joseph when she had made a vow of virginity, thus replies to his own question: “The Blessed Virgin, before contracting marriage with Joseph, was certified by God that he had formed a similar resolve, and therefore that she exposed herself to no risk in espousing him”.⁷

We have said that this marriage, having been decreed in Heaven, was also to receive the highest earthly sanction in the decision of the heads of the Jewish Church. It wanted now the consent of Mary, and consent is essential in the contract of matrimony. The Blessed Virgin, as has been observed, was certain to submit to the will of God in all that concerned her, but this must not lead us to think of her submission as simply blind and passive. It was a free consent, a reasonable consent. Even when an archangel was sent from Heaven to announce to her the Incarnation of the Word, we find her first pondering anxiously the meaning of Gabriel’s salutation, and even asking a question for the removal of a difficulty and the satisfaction of her mind: “How shall this be done?” before pronouncing the Fiat mihi. If, then, as is most true, she gave her consent to her espousals with Joseph, we may be sure that it was not without mature deliberation and examination of the obligations which she was about to assume. As a learned doctor of our day⁸ has said, no devout soul has ever embraced the profession of a religious life with such consummate prudence, or so closely examined and reflected on its vocation, as did Mary in contracting this marriage.

We must remember that, although our Lady numbered only fourteen years at the time of her espousals, she had a mind fully enlightened; prudence, in her, had not waited for mature years, and God had infused into her from her tenderest infancy all that knowledge which is ordinarily acquired by study or experience. She, therefore, perfectly understood that she ought not to commit herself to the guidance of one who was not gifted with consummate prudence, for she knew that the head of the woman is the man, and God, who had liberated this Sovereign Virgin from the power of sin and of hell, had not emancipated her from obedience to this law. It would be reprehensible in her to confide herself to the charge of any one who was not most discreet and faithful, or trust her purity to a spouse who was not himself as pure as the heavenly spirits, or take any man to be the intimate companion of her life whose own standard was not of the most exalted virtue. She knew, in short, that in taking a husband she was taking a superior, a confidant of her thoughts, a depositary of her secrets, a witness of her actions. He must, therefore, be eminently prudent, faithful, and chaste; in a word, he must be eminently holy. She knew also that she enjoyed perfect freedom as regarded her consent. The priests and doctors proposed to her a husband, but they could not command her to accept him. It did not appertain to them to do so. God alone can command a maiden contracting matrimony to choose such a one and no other for her spouse.⁹ Nor are the relatives of the Virgin likely to have brought any influence to bear upon her in the choice she made. Relatives generally think a good deal of temporal interests, and Joseph was but a poor artisan. The acquiescence, therefore, of this Sovereign Lady in taking Joseph for her spouse must be regarded as the result of her own free election. Let us see, then, all that is implied herein.

The opinion entertained by any person of another, and the estimation in which he is held by that person, derive their value from the wisdom and virtue possessed by the person forming this estimate. Wisdom is needed to penetrate and discern the true interior merit of the individual thus judged, and virtue to have a just appreciation of the merit. Now, as the most holy Virgin had more wisdom than all men and angels, and as her virtue exceeded that of all pure creatures, the honor which she paid to any one and the estimate in which she held him must be considered to involve praise higher than could be conceded by the united commendation of all mankind and of all the angelic hosts. This being presupposed, let us represent to ourselves Joseph and Mary in the Temple of Jerusalem interchanging their mutual promises in presence of the priests assembled to witness the most holy, the most necessary, and the most admirable matrimonial contract ever yet concluded. The two words of consent which the Blessed Virgin pronounced sealed this contract, and at the same time formed a more exalted panegyric than angels and men united could have awarded to our saint; because by this her consent she published that of all men Joseph was the one who deserved to be her spouse; that she had chosen him from all others, with full premeditation, employing in the making of that choice all the virtue and supernatural light of her soul, together with a full and entire liberty; moved in this election by nothing save the greatness of his merits, envying none of her companions the great alliances for which they might be destined, but much preferring this poor artisan to all others, whatever might be their worldly advantages and endowments.

Such was the glory accruing to Joseph from Mary’s choice of him, but its splendor would have been incomparably increased if the priceless riches which from that moment he received as the dowry which she brought him could have been manifested. Mary, as the daughter of the Eternal Father, had been endowed with incalculable treasures of grace; and St. Bernardine of Siena is of opinion that these, so far as he was capable of being their recipient, were communicated to Joseph when the Blessed Virgin, accepting him as her spouse, gave him her heart. For we must observe, with this holy preacher, that the glorious Virgin did not offer her heart to Joseph simply that he might know its movements and thoughts better than any one else, though this was much—in fact, she told St. Bridget that she was known only to God and to Joseph; what an inconceivable honor!—but she also gave him her heart as his possession. And who can form any conception of what that heart contained? Solomon declared that it enclosed more interior riches than did all the just souls of ancient times: “Many daughters have gathered together riches; thou hast surpassed them all”.¹⁰ “All the treasures of God and of the Saints were in Mary,” says the Seraphic Doctor. Now this precious dowry was conceded to Joseph to be to him a glorious ornament, or, more strictly speaking, in order to establish a suitable uniformity in the alliance about to be contracted; that he might sustain with greater splendor the august dignity of Spouse of Mary.

Joseph, then, received in dowry a heart more perfect, more pure, than that of the angels, a heart full of virtues and of supernatural gifts, a heart full of God. And with what completeness did Mary bestow it! There is no question that of all spouses the glorious Virgin could bestow herself with the most absolute entireness, for never was any so completely mistress of herself and of all her faculties as was the Mother of God. Of all marriages, not only was that of Joseph and Mary the most holy and most perfect, but the union of heart was more intimate than it ever was in any other marriage. Our Sovereign Lady in giving her heart united it so closely with that of Joseph that together they had henceforth, as it were, but one heart; and the virtues and heavenly favors with which these beautiful souls were enriched became, in a manner, common to both. Speaking of Adam and Eve in Paradise, God said that they should be “two in one flesh”;¹¹ but of Joseph and Mary it might be said that they were two in one spirit. “They were one spirit,” says St. Ambrose.¹² From the moment of their alliance the souls of Joseph and Mary possessed one same heavenly and divine life. The Holy Gospel seems to favor this idea, speaking always of Joseph and Mary with the same honor and as engaged in the same occupations. An angel reveals both to one and the other the Sacred Name of Jesus; both have the happiness of being the first who adored the Savior, kneeling at His crib; together they presented their Son at the altar forty days after His birth; together they received Simeon’s blessing. Jesus served equally His father and His Mother; and, to add no more, God, who had deputed one of the highest angels as His ambassador to Mary, employed this same exalted prince of Heaven to declare to Joseph the mystery of the Incarnation. Amongst all that multitude of blessed spirits who encompass the throne of the Most High, Gabriel alone received the commission to treat with Joseph as with Mary.

To sum up what has been said. The Blessed Virgin in accepting Joseph as her spouse gave the most splendid confirmation to the high esteem in which his incomparable virtues were held. She also set the seal of her free consent to a marriage which had been decreed in the counsels of the Ever-Blessed Trinity and had formed the matter of solemn deliberation on the part of the heads of the Jewish Church. It was the fiat of this Sovereign Lady.

Between the betrothal and the marriage of Mary and Joseph a certain period, according to the custom of the Hebrew people, intervened. It is supposed in their case to have been two months, their mutual promises being interchanged in November, and the marriage itself probably taking place on the 23rd of January, when the Church celebrates the feast of the Espousals of the Blessed Virgin.