Charity to our neighbor
“For with the same measure that you shall mete withal, it shall be measured to you again.”—Luke 6:38
In this day’s gospel we find that Jesus Christ once said to his disciples: “Be ye merciful, as your Father also is merciful” (Luke 6:36). As your heavenly Father is merciful toward you, so must you be merciful to others. He then goes on to explain how, and in what, we should practice holy charity to our neighbor. “Judge not,” he adds, “and you shall not be judged” (Luke 6:37). Here he speaks against those who do not refrain from judging their neighbors rashly. “Forgive, and you shall be forgiven” (Luke 6:37). He tells us that we cannot obtain pardon for the offenses we have given to God unless we first pardon those who have offended us. “Give, and it shall be given to you” (v. 38).
By these words he condemns those who wish that God should grant them whatever they desire, while they themselves are stingy and grasping toward the poor. In conclusion he declares that the measure of charity we use toward our neighbor shall be the very measure God will use toward us. Let us see, then, how we should practice charity to our neighbor: we ought to practice it, first, in our thoughts; second, in our words; third, in our works.
First Point.—How we should practice charity to our neighbor in our thoughts.
1. “And this commandment we have from God, that he who loveth God love also his brother” (1 John 4:21). The same precept, then, that obliges us to love God commands us to love our neighbor. St. Catherine of Genoa said one day to the Lord: “My God, you wish me to love my neighbor; but I can love no one but you.” The Lord answered her: “My child, he that loves me loves whatsoever I love.” Hence St. John says: “If any man say: I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar” (1 John 4:20). And Jesus Christ has declared that the charity we practice toward the least of his brethren he will receive as done to himself.
2. We must therefore, in the first place, practice fraternal charity in our thoughts, by never judging evil of anyone without certain grounds. “Judge not, and you shall not be judged.” He who judges, without certain grounds, that another has committed a mortal sin is guilty of a grievous fault; if he only rashly suspects another of a mortal sin, he commits at least a venial offense. But to judge or suspect evil of another is not sinful when we have certain grounds for the judgment or suspicion. Still, he that has true charity thinks well of all and banishes from his mind both judgments and suspicions. “Charity thinketh no evil” (1 Cor. 13:5).
Those who are heads of families are bound to suspect the evil that may be done by those under their care. Certain foolish fathers and mothers see that their son keeps bad company, or often goes to some house where there are young women; or they see their daughter speaking alone with some man, and they let it pass, saying: “I do not wish to entertain bad thoughts of others.” What folly! In such cases they are bound to suspect the evil that may be done, and therefore to correct their children, so as to prevent it from happening. But those who are not entrusted with the care of others ought to take care not to go prying into the faults and doings of others.
3. When sickness, loss of property, or any other misfortune befalls a neighbor, charity requires that we be inwardly sorry for the evil that has come upon him, at least with the superior part of the soul. I say “with the superior part of the soul”; for when we hear of some harm that has come to a person who is hostile to us, our lower nature seems to feel a certain pleasure; but there is no sin in this, so long as we do not consent to that pleasure. Note, however, that it is sometimes lawful to desire or to take pleasure in some temporal evil of another, when we hope that from that evil will come a spiritual good to himself or to others.
For example, if there were an obstinate or scandalous sinner, it is lawful, says St. Gregory, to take pleasure in his sickness or in some other temporal evil that befalls him, and even to desire that he may fall sick or become poor, so that he may give up his wicked life, or at least cease to scandalize others. Behold the words of St. Gregory: Evenire plerumque potest, ut non amissa charitate, et inimici nostri ruina laetificet, et ejus gloria sine invidiae culpa contristet; cum et, ruente eo, quosdam bene erigi credimus, et proficiente illo plerosque injuste opprimi formidamus—“It can often happen that, without losing charity, both the ruin of our enemy may gladden us, and his glory may sadden us without the guilt of envy; since, when he falls, we believe that some are rightly raised up, and when he advances, we fear that many are unjustly oppressed” (Moralia, Bk. 22, ch. 2).
But except in such cases, it is contrary to charity to rejoice at the harm of a neighbor. So too it is contrary to charity to grieve at a neighbor’s good, for no other reason than that it is his good. This, properly speaking, is the sin of envy. The envious, says the Wise Man, are of the devil’s party; for he, unable to bear the sight of men in heaven, from which he had been cast out, tempted Adam to rebel against God. “But by the envy of the devil death came into the world; and they follow him that are of his side” (Wis. 2:25). Let us pass on to the other points, where there is much to say.
Second Point.—On the charity we ought to practice toward our neighbor in our words.
4. As to fraternal charity in our speech, we ought, first and above all, to refrain from all detraction. “The talebearer shall defile his own soul, and shall be hated by all” (Ecclus. 21:31). As those who always speak well of others are loved by all, so he who speaks ill of his neighbor is hated by all—by God and by men, who, although they take delight in hearing detraction, nevertheless hate the detractor and afterward are on their guard against him.
St. Bernard writes that the tongue of a detractor is a three-edged sword. Gladius equidem anceps, immo triplex est lingua detractoris—“The tongue of the detractor is truly a double-edged, indeed triple-edged, sword” (Ps. 56). Three-edged, because with the first edge it wounds the good name of a neighbor; with the second it wounds the soul of the one who listens; and with the third it wounds the detractor’s own soul, by depriving it of divine grace. You will say: “But I have said it only in secret, to my friends, on the condition that they will not tell it to others.” And does that excuse you? You are, then, that serpent of which the Lord speaks, which bites in silence. “If a serpent bite in silence, he is nothing better that backbiteth secretly” (Ecclus. 10:11). What does it matter that you say it in secret? You bite all the same, and take away your neighbor’s good name.
Those who have the vice of speaking ill of others are punished not only in the next life but in this one as well; for these cutting tongues are the cause of a thousand sins, sowing discord throughout whole families and whole towns. Thomas of Cantimpré (The Universal Good of Bees, ch. 37) relates that he himself knew a certain detractor who at the end of his life raved like a madman, and died tearing his tongue with his own teeth. The tongue of another detractor, as he was about to speak ill of St. Malachy, swelled up that very instant and was filled with worms, and so, after seven days, the wretched man died miserably.
5. Detraction is committed not only when we take away a neighbor’s good name by imputing to him a sin he has not committed, or by making his guilt greater than it is, but also when we make known to others some secret sin of his. Some people, when they know of some fault of a neighbor, seem to suffer the pains of childbirth until they have told it to others. And when a neighbor’s sin is secret, and is a grave matter, it is a mortal sin to make it known to others without a just cause.
I say “without a just cause”; for if one were to tell a father some fault of his son, that he might correct it or set it right, then there is no sin in this—rather, it is a good work; since, as St. Thomas says (Summa II-II, q. 73, a. 2), to disclose the sins of a neighbor is a sin when it is done to make him lose his good name, but not when it is done for his good or for the good of others.
6. They have a great account to render to God who, hearing someone speak ill of another, then go and report it to the person who was spoken against. These are called talebearers. Oh, what harm is done by these talebearing tongues, which in this way go sowing discord! They are an object of God’s hatred. “The Lord hateth him that soweth discord among brethren” (Prov. 6:16, 19). The one who speaks ill does less harm, for he will probably have been justly offended by the person he speaks against, and so, if he speaks, he is the more to be excused; but you—why do you go and report what you have heard? To stir up ill will and hatred that will then be the cause of a thousand sins?
If from this day forward you ever hear anything said against your neighbor, do what the Holy Ghost says: “Hast thou heard a word against thy neighbor? let it die with thee” (Ecclus. 19:10). That word you have heard about your neighbor—not only keep it shut up within you, but let it die within you. He who is only shut up in a place may escape and be seen again; but he who is dead cannot come out of the grave. I mean: when you have come to know some fault of a neighbor, take care to give no hint of it to others, by any half-spoken word, by any nod of the head, or by any sign. Sometimes greater harm is done to another’s good name by certain pointed signs and broken words than by plain statements; for these often make people believe the evil to be greater than it really is.
7. Moreover, when you are in conversation, take care not to wound any companion, whether present or absent, by holding him up to ridicule. You may say: “I do it in jest”; but such jests are contrary to charity. Jesus Christ said: “All things, therefore, that you will that men should do to you, do you also unto them” (Matt. 7:12). Would you like to be mocked and made a jest of before others? Then give up doing this to your neighbor.
Avoid, too, contending over useless matters. Sometimes, over mere trifles of no importance, certain quarrels take hold from which people pass on to disturbances and insulting words. There are some who have the spirit of contradiction, and who, without any need, but only out of a love of contention, set themselves to contradict whatever others say, and so violate charity. The Holy Ghost says: “Strive not in matters which do not concern thee” (Ecclus. 11:9).
But such a one will say: “I am only defending what is reasonable; I cannot bear to hear things said that are contrary to reason.” To this defender of reason Cardinal Bellarmine answers that an ounce of charity is worth more than a hundred cartloads of reason. When you are in conversation, especially about matters of little importance, state your opinion if you wish to say it for the sake of the discussion, and then keep yourself at peace, without obstinately defending it. And in such disputes it is always better to yield. Blessed Egidius used to say that in this case the one who yields is the one who wins; for he comes off superior in virtue, and preserves peace, which is a far greater good than the victory of one’s own opinion. St. Joseph Calasanctius used to say: “He who loves peace contradicts no one.”
8. Thus, my hearers, if you wish to be loved by God and by men, endeavor always to speak well of all. And when it happens that you hear someone speak ill of another, take care not to draw him on to say more, or to show any curiosity to hear it; for then you would make yourself guilty of the same sin as the one who speaks ill. Rather, either rebuke him, or change the subject, or withdraw from that conversation. Ecclesiasticus says: “Hedge in thy ears with thorns, and hear not a wicked tongue” (Ecclus. 28:28). When you hear someone taking away another’s good name, set a hedge of thorns about your ears, that detraction may be kept from entering.
For this purpose it is necessary, at least, to show that the talk displeases you. This is done by keeping silent and putting on a sorrowful look, or by casting your eyes to the ground, or by turning your face away. In a word, act, says St. Jerome, in such a way that the detractor, seeing that you do not willingly listen to him, may learn not to be so ready to detract in future. Discat detractor, dum te videt non libenter audire, non facile detrahere—“Let the detractor learn, while he sees that you do not willingly listen, not to detract easily” (St. Jerome, Letter to Nepotian).
And when you are able, charity will be glad if you take up the cause of those who are spoken against. The divine Spouse wishes the words of his bride to be a band of scarlet. “Thy lips are as a scarlet lace” (Cant. 4:3). That is, as Theodoret explains the passage, her words should be dictated by charity (a scarlet lace), so that they may cover, as far as possible, the faults of a neighbor, excusing at least his intention when his act cannot be excused, as St. Bernard exhorts: “If you cannot excuse the act, excuse the intention” (Sermon 40 on the Canticles). The nuns of the convent of St. Teresa used to say, as a proverb, that wherever their holy mother was, their good name was safe, knowing that she would take up the defense of any of them of whom she heard ill spoken.
9. Charity also requires that we be meek toward all, and especially toward those who are opposed to us. When someone is angry and abuses you with words, remember that “a mild answer breaketh wrath” (Prov. 15:1). Answer him with gentleness, and you will see him at once calmed. But if, on the contrary, you take offense and speak harshly, you will only add fuel to the fire; and as the resentment grows, you put yourself in danger of losing your soul, by some act of hatred, or by breaking out into some grievous insult. Whenever you feel yourself disturbed, it is better to force yourself to be silent and make no reply; for, as St. Bernard says, the eye darkened by anger no longer sees what is just or unjust. Turbatus prae ira oculus rectum non videt—“An eye troubled by anger does not see what is right” (On Consideration, Bk. 2, ch. 11). And should it happen that, carried away by anger, you have insulted your neighbor, charity requires that you do all you can to appease him, and to remove from his heart every rancor against you. There is then no fitter means of repairing charity than to humble yourself before the person you have offended. But of the virtue of meekness, which we ought to practice toward our neighbor, I shall speak at length in the thirty-eighth Sermon, for the fifth Sunday after Pentecost.
10. It is also an act of charity to correct those who sin. Do not say: “But I am not his superior.” Were you his superior, you would be bound to do it by your office; but, though you are not, you are bound to it by charity, as a Christian: “He gave to every one of them commandment concerning his neighbor” (Ecclus. 17:12). What cruelty it would be to see a blind man walking toward a precipice and not warn him, in order to save him from temporal death! And how much greater would your cruelty be, if, being able to save your brother from eternal death, you neglected to do so in order to avoid a little trouble!
Third Point.—On the charity we ought to practice toward our neighbor in our works.
11. Some say that they love all, but then will not put themselves out at all to relieve the need of any neighbor. St. John wrote: “My little children, let us not love in word, nor in tongue, but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:18). Scripture tells us that almsgiving delivers a man from death, cleanses him from his sins, and obtains for him the divine mercy and eternal life. “Alms delivereth from death, and the same is that which purgeth away sins, and maketh to find mercy and life everlasting” (Tob. 12:9).
God will relieve you in the same measure in which you relieve your neighbor. “With what measure you shall mete, it shall be measured to you again” (Matt. 7:2). Hence St. Chrysostom wrote that to practice charity toward our neighbor is the art of making great gains with God: “Almsgiving is, of all arts, the most profitable.” And St. Mary Magdalene de’ Pazzi used to say that she found herself happier when she was relieving her neighbor than when she was raised up in contemplation; and this was her reason: “When I am in contemplation, God assists me; but when I am relieving my neighbor, I assist God.” For every act of charity we do to our neighbor, God receives as done to himself.
But on the other hand, St. John says, how can he be said to love God who does not relieve his brother in some need? “He that hath the substance of this world, and shall see his brother in need, and shall shut up his bowels from him, how doth the charity of God abide in him?” (1 John 3:17). By almsgiving is meant not only the giving of goods or money, but every relief that is given to a neighbor according to his need.
12. If charity requires that we relieve all, it requires still more that we relieve those who are in the greatest need, such as the souls in Purgatory. St. Thomas teaches that charity extends not only to the living but also to the dead. And therefore, as we ought to relieve our neighbors who are living, so too we are bound to give relief to those holy prisoners who suffer so greatly in the fire and cannot help themselves. This is just what a certain deceased Cistercian monk said to the sacristan of his monastery, to whom he appeared: “Brother, help me by your prayers; for I can do nothing of myself for myself” (Cron. Cist.).
Let us, then, help these beloved spouses of Jesus Christ as much as we can, commending them every day to God, and also having a Mass said now and then for their relief. There is nothing that so much benefits those holy souls as the sacrifice of the altar. They will surely not be ungrateful to you; they will indeed pray for you, and will help you all the more once they have come to the sight of God.
13. So too it is pleasing to God that you practice a special charity toward the sick. They are afflicted by their pains, by melancholy, by the fear of death, and are sometimes abandoned by others. Try to relieve them with some alms or little gift, serve them as you can, and at least endeavor to console them with your words, and to exhort them to remain resigned to the will of God, and to offer up to him all that they suffer.
14. Above all, be careful to practice charity toward those who are opposed to you. Someone says: “I am grateful to all who treat me well, but I cannot practice charity toward those who persecute me.” But Jesus Christ says that even the heathens know how to be grateful to those who do them good: “Do not also the heathens this?” (Matt. 5:47). Christian charity consists in wishing well, and in doing good, to those who hate us and do us harm. “But I say to you: Love your enemies; do good to them that hate you; and pray for them that persecute and calumniate you” (Matt. 5:44). That man wishes you ill, and you are to love him. That man has done you harm, and you are to do him good. This is how the saints take their revenge; this is the heavenly revenge to which St. Paulinus exhorts us against our enemies: “To repay good for evil is heavenly revenge” (Epis. 16). And St. John Chrysostom wrote that nothing makes us so like to God as to pardon our enemies: “Nothing makes men so like to God as to spare enemies” (Hom. 27 on Genesis).
So have all the saints done. St. Catherine of Siena, to a woman who had taken away her good name, went and waited on her for a long time as a servant, while she lay sick. St. Ambrose, to a certain assassin who had plotted against his life, settled an allowance for his comfortable support each day. A certain governor of Tuscany named Venustanus, on account of the faith, had the hands of St. Sabinus the bishop cut off; then the tyrant, feeling himself pierced by a violent pain in his eyes, begged the saint to help him. The saint prayed for him, and lifting up his arm, still dripping with blood, blessed him, and obtained for him the cure of his eyes and also of his soul; for by this the man was converted. Father Segneri relates besides (Christ. Instr., part 1, disc. 20, n. 20) that in Bologna the only son of a certain lady was murdered; the murderer then by chance came to take refuge in her own house. And what did she do? First she hid him from the officers of justice, and then said to him: “Come now, since I have lost my son, from this day forward you shall be my son and my heir. Take this money for the present, and save yourself elsewhere, for here you are not safe.” This is how the saints take their revenge.
He who does not forgive—says St. Cyril of Jerusalem—with what face will he say to God, “Lord, forgive me the many affronts I have offered you,” if he is unwilling to forgive his enemy the few affronts he has received from him? Qua fronte dices Domino: remitte mihi multa peccata mea, si tu pauca conservo tuo non remiseris—“With what face will you say to the Lord: forgive me my many sins, if you have not forgiven your fellow servant a few things?” (Catechesis 2). On the other hand, he who forgives his enemy is sure of being forgiven by God, who says: “Forgive, and you shall be forgiven” (Luke 6:37). And when you can do no other good to your enemy who persecutes and calumniates you than to commend him to God, at least do this: “Pray for them that persecute and calumniate you.” So says Jesus Christ, who well knows how to reward those who treat their enemies in this way.
Points for Reflection
1. “If you wish to be loved by God and by men, endeavor always to speak well of all” (§8)
2. “A mild answer breaketh wrath” (§9)
3. “Christian charity consists in wishing well, and in doing good, to those who hate us and do us harm” (§14)